π¬πΈπΈπ΅
Dec. 4th, 2024 05:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xoxxaxeit’s been a long time since i haven’t felt ββΛ.β π¬πΈπΈπ΅ ββΛ.β
i know "there’s no such thing as being cool" or "everyone is unique so we’re cool in our own way" and i hear that for everyone else. but i have this rooted feeling that i’m not π¬πΈπΈπ΅. i know i shouldn’t categorize people but i always find myself doing that tho i mostly do it to myself. my best friends are two of the coolest people i know. i admire them for many reasons. i don’t think i’m as cool as them. sometimes it feels like what i like is so basic and it feels boring compared to them. i love that they are unpredictable (even tho i know them very well sooo i am able to predict some stuff). and i feel like i am very predictable because i like everything that everyone loves. i know its not bad to love what everyone else loves and i’m not saying that. i just feel like i’m obvious, boring, i lack quirkiness and oddness and muchness.
i love change in people. i love seeing them evolve wether it’s good or bad. and i’m jealous. i am jealous because i see everyone becoming someone else than they were and i feel like i’m still the same as i’ve always been. it feels frustrating, enraging and depressing to have been stuck with the same girl for so many years. i don’t think i like her anymore. i used to like her so much, i remember telling her how π¬πΈπΈπ΅ i thought she was. i feel disconnected. i think if my ex friends would see me now, they would think i’m still the same and i don’t like that.
dont get me wrong i don’t think i’m unπ¬πΈπΈπ΅. i don’t feel like telling you more and i don’t know how to extend my thoughts about all this. my head feels overwhelming and overwhelmed.
i know "there’s no such thing as being cool" or "everyone is unique so we’re cool in our own way" and i hear that for everyone else. but i have this rooted feeling that i’m not π¬πΈπΈπ΅. i know i shouldn’t categorize people but i always find myself doing that tho i mostly do it to myself. my best friends are two of the coolest people i know. i admire them for many reasons. i don’t think i’m as cool as them. sometimes it feels like what i like is so basic and it feels boring compared to them. i love that they are unpredictable (even tho i know them very well sooo i am able to predict some stuff). and i feel like i am very predictable because i like everything that everyone loves. i know its not bad to love what everyone else loves and i’m not saying that. i just feel like i’m obvious, boring, i lack quirkiness and oddness and muchness.
i love change in people. i love seeing them evolve wether it’s good or bad. and i’m jealous. i am jealous because i see everyone becoming someone else than they were and i feel like i’m still the same as i’ve always been. it feels frustrating, enraging and depressing to have been stuck with the same girl for so many years. i don’t think i like her anymore. i used to like her so much, i remember telling her how π¬πΈπΈπ΅ i thought she was. i feel disconnected. i think if my ex friends would see me now, they would think i’m still the same and i don’t like that.
dont get me wrong i don’t think i’m unπ¬πΈπΈπ΅. i don’t feel like telling you more and i don’t know how to extend my thoughts about all this. my head feels overwhelming and overwhelmed.
i hope you feel π¬πΈπΈπ΅ cause you are
